Q. What do you miss most about having your husband home?

The companionship.  The people that have shown up and helped and listened and sent a package and babysat and all of those things are incredible.  They are simply incredible.  They aren’t my husband.  I didn’t marry them.  I didn’t later decide to start a family with them.  I don’t have the ease of relationship with them that I have with my husband.  I miss laughing with him at the end of the day when it is finally quiet.  I miss talking through our strategies with the kids.  I miss having someone around that doesn’t care if I’m a wreck sometimes and knows it’s okay for me to admit that this is hard.

Q. Besides having Patric home, what would help you out the most?

I think I’ve been very highly aware of how hard this is to do without family in the area this time around.  Today I am home with a second sick kid this week, and I don’t feel well myself.  It would be great to have someone who could pick up the other three at the end of the day so that Ben and I could just sit here on the couch and feel better.  Instead we’ll both head back to daycare in about an hour, him with a puke bucket in his lap, and we’ll pick up the healthy ones and I’ll fix dinner, give baths and muddle through.  Our families are very helpful when we need them and will show up at the drop of a hat, but they have to travel a long way to get here right now.

Q. What are you most proud of?

My kids and my husband are all incredible. I’m proud every time we manage an outing together and we do a great job.  I’m proud when they thank me for making them dinner.  I’m proud of how incredibly resilient they are.  I am quietly proud of my husband.  He has given up a year of his life with his young family for others.  We hate it for us, but we are proud of what he does for others.  He doesn’t get to choose the politics, but he has always been ready to help when needed.

Q. Do you have friends and family that help on the weekends?

Our families live in the MidWest, so we don’t get to see them all the time nor do we benefit from having that group available to call on.  But they come and visit and drive here and stay with us and play with us and keep us company when they can get away for a weekend, and that is a treat.  It is great to have the distraction of a visitor in our weekend routine.  I’m awful at the weekends.  We have a rhythm during the week and we have pretty well defined time periods.  When we get to the weekend I’m tired and they’re tired and we don’t generally have a plan unless someone has come to visit.  So we kind of wind-up getting on top of each other and fussing and loosing our manners so to speak—myself included.

Q. How are your kids doing?  How do they stay in touch with their dad?

My kids are incredible.  They are incredible in a couple of different ways.  In large part, they roll with it.  They talk about their dad being at work and that they miss him.  They talk about what they’ll do when he comes home.  They remember when we got to hang out at the beginning of February.  And then there is the part where they just move on as well.  It’s pretty incredible really.

Q. How did you prepare them for this year apart?  Do they understand?

It was hard to make that decision for them—what all do they understand?  How much should we ask them to understand?  What do we really want them to understand?  They know their dad is at work with soldiers for a long time.  That was about as deep as we went.  In 2009 Patric was in and out a lot with his job and preparing for the deployment, so we got used to him being gone.  I think it has helped the transition to right now.

Q. How do you keep Patric a part of everything?

We don’t.  We just don’t.  He was in Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2004-2005.  During that time we didn’t have children and “we” did our IVF cycle to become pregnant with the boys and I did that pregnancy by myself.  We pined for each other; we e-mailed all the time; we called; we were miserable and so romantic and distraught.  We wrote long letters.  Now I spend my Saturday evenings after the kids are in bed folding 7 loads of laundry from the week.  The duties of life have been more highly prioritized this time.  He has been finishing a semester of graduate school; I’ve been keeping us afloat.

I remember thinking that the blog would be a great way to keep him up-to-date on all of us like it does for our family that all live far away.  But the military has blocked the blog from their networks and when I e-mail the posts, their e-mail system strips out the pictures.  When I tried to e-mail the pictures with an update, it kicked the message back as too big and I can only send one maybe two pictures at a time.  Still, we can do that which is much more that previous generations.  He’ll get his own dial-up connection soon and we’ll see if that helps.

Q. When does Patric return?  Any furloughs? Is this date set in stone, or can it be changed by the army?

Taking different reports into account, we’re going with home by Halloween right now.  It isn’t set in stone.  The orders that he is deployed on are very vague about a return date and are very clear that it can be extended, whatever it is.

Q. What are your thoughts on his (and your!) service to our country?

How quickly we forget.  We forget that these soldiers are in harm’s way.  We did.  We didn’t watch as closely after he came home last time; we got busy with life; we went on about our business.   Now that he is back there, I am confronted with how dangerous his job is.  And I pray for soldiers and their families every day now.

Q. What can readers be doing from afar for soldiers deployed, and their families stateside?

Do what tickles you.  Seriously.  Everyone has different things they love to do.  Some of our friends really get a kick out of putting fun packages together for the soldiers; others really like hanging out with our kids.  Some of our friends are busy and send an encouraging word or a phone call when they get a chance.  I would say that when you offer to help a family of a deployed soldier and you mean it, hand them a piece of paper with your phone number on it.  If you don’t, I will be thankful that you said that but I don’t really think you want to help.  All of these things add up to a huge help and encouragement for us.  We are thankful for every thought and actions of encouragement that comes our way.  From my experience, military families mostly want to know that their sacrifices are mostly recognized as a service to all American people—even if it is just eeking out a “Thank you for your service,” when you see a soldier in the airport.

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Thank you so much Susan, for sharing your poignant story with us.  In case you missed it yesterday, Susan maintains an excellent blog, The Mighty Stuber Brood.  So far, I’ve visited every day – I just love Susan’s humor!  And yes, I don’t know how she does it either…

As a token of our gratitude for what you are going through, Whole Foods of Memphis has offered a full week of their awesome “Value” meals for Susan’s family!  That’s a whole week of healthy and delicious Chef-created meals ready to go – no chopping or cooking necessary.  Many thanks to Whole Foods of Memphis for their generosity.

If you’d like to send letters or packages to Captain Stuber and/or his soldiers, you can find him at the following address:

CPT Patric Stuber
G Troop, 2/278 ACR
APO-AE 09391

It’s so clear to me that people like the Stuber family make this country great.

Her story stopped me dead in my tracks.  How is that even possible?

I asked Susan to share with us how everything is going for her and her family.  Happily, she agreed to let us peek into her life.

Q. Tell us about your day…

“We have a remarkable system for the mornings right now.  I was lamenting the other day that I haven’t started insisting that the boys get dressed by themselves, but I try to remind myself that in our current cycle of normal, we are in survival mode.  I will start that morning battle when their dad is here to fight it with me.

I get up at 5:00 so that I can shower and drink a cup of coffee alone.  The children usually start coming down between 6 and 6:30.  However, one of my girls is currently out of bed at 5:00 in the morning.  If I had one, I could insist that she go back to bed.  But this one will start crying, and she starts the other girl crying, and then the boys are up and well, 4 up at 5 is so much worse than 1 up at 5.  So Elaine does her make-up with me in the morning and she may or may not go to daycare with eye shadow that day.

Before I go to bed the night before, I lay out their clothes.  I make sure that there are four pair of shoes out as well.  It is strangely important that there are just 4 pair of shoes.  Anything less is obvious because I don’t want to dig for shoes in the morning; but, if there are say 5 or 6 pair of shoes it is a problem too.  A girl that sees a choice of shoes laying out could create a domino effect that could make us loose half an hour as I fight through who wears what shoes and tie and re-tie shoes.  I don’t care what shoes they wear, but I pay attention when I come home with info sheets from the daycare that say they can’t wear open-toe shoes.  The princess shoes and the sandals are automatically out the window, but those are the first shoes the girls go for if they see them in the morning.

In the morning I lay out toothbrushes, vitamins, sippy cups, and start cartoons, etc in that hour that I shower and brush my teeth and drink my coffee.  It is a total conveyor belt.  I dress, brush teeth, shove vitamins, slap on shoes, and move on to the next one.  That process takes a solid half and hour.  We’re usually out the door shortly after 7 a.m. so that I can drop the kids and then commute in and be to work by 8 myself.

My husband and I are very lucky people to have the jobs that we do.  I work at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis, TN, and my husband works for the Tennessee Army National Guard.  We both feel that we get to participate daily in something that is bigger than ourselves, and that makes our current separation somehow more acceptable to us. Every day I get to go to a place that conducts itself in a first class manner in every endeavor.  I am a project manager in the Hematology Department at St. Jude.  I spend my days doing a wide range of things from protocol writing to meeting planning to working with the FDA.   I never know exactly what I’ll be focused on any given day, and it is a nice change from the rigid routine that we keep at home.

How do I spend lunch?  I hit the café the moment I make it to work and generally don’t stop eating until I leave at the end of the day.  I feel like I’m constantly eating, but then when I get home in the evening, I rarely get a chance to sit down and eat anything.

We have a great cafeteria oddly enough, so I can drop in there for a wide variety of food depending on my day most days.  More often than I should, I take it back to my desk and eat it there.  When Patric first left, a girlfriend of mine asked what she could do.  She doesn’t have kids and knows all of the great restaurants down town.  I suggested that she schedule a lunch, choose the place and tell me where to be once-in-awhile, and that has been a great help to me.  Lunch is one of the few times that I can take a break without a huge amount of pre-planning, so it’s nice to just have a destination and a friend sitting there every once-in-awhile.  It’s such a small thing, but I’m so unlikely to be the one to take five minutes to schedule it when I could be getting five other things done.

Q. Evenings?

Evenings in our house are as routinized but never quite as smooth as the mornings in their actual carrying-out.  I’m usually back to pick the kids up around 5:00 or a little after.  We invariably have a break down of some sort.  It is weird to watch it happen every night.  It’s like the poor little things have held it together according to the rules all day long and when they see me, they suddenly can’t put their jackets on, walk without falling over, not whine.  It is amazing, by the time we’re out the door people are just staring at us and I’m sure several people have wondered why we’re such a hot mess that time of day.  No idea.

I used to be pretty crazy about wanting the kids to eat correctly balanced, mostly from scratch meals that covered a wide range of foods.  It seems important to me that they learn to love food or at least accept that there are many foods that can be appreciated.  At this particular moment I need the children to eat.  We eat a lot of mac-n-cheese and corndogs.

Q. How do you unwind?

Honestly, I don’t.  I just don’t right now. I have a full DVR, my current Netflix have been on the mantel for months.  I would love to have more time to bake because I love everything about it, but the quiet time you need just isn’t there just now.  Like most busy moms I have every intention of getting back to the things I love someday, just not right now.  It just doesn’t fit.

Q. Do you have any helpers that provide support, a break, etc?

I have wonderful friends.  Simply wonderful.  They show up.  They baby sit.  They come with projects for the kids.  They come and entertain me sometimes too.  The grandmas in our church have organized themselves to come over every Saturday and watch the kids for an hour so I can run to the grocery store.  Others send packages to Patric.  I am truly in debt to so many friends that have just shown up.

Q. What type of support does the army provide?

The Army has a Family Readiness Group program, which makes an effort to work at the local level with the specific families of differently deployed groups to disseminate information.  The USO is a great help. In our situation, the National Guard is a bit removed from the daily family life of its soldiers.  And Patric’s home unit is actually across the state from us, so we’ve not been able to take advantage of these services as much as we would like to.

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Tomorrow, we’ll continue our conversation with Susan.  Home Tour Friday will resume on Saturday this week.

Aren’t you amazed with the resilience of this woman?  Susan also writes an incredible blog, The Mighty Stuber Brood, which chronicles the story of her family.  Take a look, and just see if you don’t need to come back every day for updates.

]]> http://www.thegoodstuffguide.com/daddy-deployed-part-1/feed/ 9 http://www.thegoodstuffguide.com/mvw-chicago/ http://www.thegoodstuffguide.com/mvw-chicago/#comments Wed, 17 Mar 2010 08:04:05 +0000 Heidi Farmer http://www.thegoodstuffguide.com/?p=4311 Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you!  The stars were aligned that this special holiday would fall on a Wednesday and we could visit one of the most famous Irish cities here in the United States.

(Boston, I apologize.  But isn’t this a great shot of their green river??!?)

On this most famous of days, the Chicago River is dyed with an environmentally-friendly green dye and result is spectacular.

Here’s another look. It reminds me of The Fugitive when the officer quips, “If they can dye it green today, why can’t they dye it blue the rest of the year?”

Two young Irish dancers at the St. Patrick’s Festival.

Just in case you can’t get there today, here’s your to-do list when you do.  It’s a magnificent city!

1. Field Museum of Natural History – Dinosaurs, oceans, ancient cities: the Field museum has it all.  There’s even a PlayLab for young scientists with lots of hands-on activities.

2. Lincoln Park Zoo is one of the country’s most historic zoo parks and it’s free!

3. Navy Pier provides fun shops, parks, great views of the city skyline, an 150-foot-high Ferris wheel and an old-fashioned musical carousel.

4. Eat a Chicago-style pizza at the true original Uno’s on Ohio Street.  It’s always crowded, so just be ready. (Sidenote: it cracks me up that they list nutritional information on their website.  Uh, you don’t want to know!)

5. American Girl Place – sometimes I just visit this place (at the NYC store) to witness the marketing genius.  If you have a girl, can I tag along for tea?  I don’t think my boys will ever be interested in this.  Book really far in advance.

6. The Magnificent Mile – While I have you shopping, welcome to mecca.  I apologize to my NYC home, but I prefer this avenue any day.

7. I just love Mexican food and Las Pinatas on North Wells Street is among the best.  Ev-ah.

8.  Chicago Children’s Museum – a terrific place to play and learn and burn some energy.

9. Don’t (as in DO NOT) miss brunch at Toast in Lincoln Park or Bucktown.  It’s a pancake, eggs benedict, french toast marvel.  Expect a line.

Special thanks to Kristin Unger at ExploreChicago.org for use of their gorgeous photos.

Now I’m counting on you to add your favorites too!  Where are your favorite eats, shops, things to do, etc?  Let’s make a great list.  I’m looking forward to discovering new places to try.

Wishing you a pot o’ gold for St. Patrick’s Day!

In the midst of this, we at home had loads of quiet on our hands.

Serendipitously (and I even spelled that word correct on the first try!), the elder adorable decided it was time to decorate his room for Easter.  So just this morning I had printed off 8 Easter Eggs onto white card stock, thinking it would be a nice quiet project for the day.  You can find the Easter Egg Coloring pages here for – they’re free.

So then the power went out and it was all dark on the western front.

(I’m being dramatic about my 7-hour power outage, but many others here in Greenwich have been out since Saturday with no hope of any electrical juice until Wednesday.)

Looking at my to-do list, there wasn’t a single thing on it that didn’t necessitate power, and an internet connection.  Holy Moly.

So we colored…

And colored.

Then the elder adorable stopped and said, “Mom, I love coloring with you.”

I went a little white.  We play lots of board games, we read lots of books, we play floor hockey in the basement (and seriously I work hard to not get smoked), but very often I get him all set up for an activity and get back to my work.   It was really fun to just be there with him, without anything else I should be doing. I know he could feel the difference.

But the real reason I’m telling you all this is that tonight when we returned home – VOILA! the lights were on – and we hung our hard work around the ceiling of his room.

Obviously this isn’t a professional installation.  We used wrapping ribbon (the thin kind that you coil with scissors – why can’t I think of its proper name??), tape, and paper clips to attach the eggs.  Now elder adorable feels all ready for Easter.

And I’m back to my to-do list.

(Hooray, power!)

Okay, on to the fun stuff…

One of the highlights of Toy Fair was my surprise and delight to discover Mighty World.

Hello fun!  One of the things I love about sets like these is the **quiet** pretend play where the adorables take over a corner of a room and we moms get to go about our business.  In about forty-five minutes, we think to ourselves, “Uh-oh, it’s toooo quiet.  Maybe they’ve secretly discovered where we keep the house paint??”.  Then we skedaddle to check and lo and behold, there they are still immersed in their **quiet** play.  And we moms sneak ever so quietly out of there because we know if they see us, or hear us, or use their sixth sense to guess our whereabouts, this enchanted quiet playtime is OVER. Period.

Of course they can’t get to the house paint, it’s kept under lock and key. “What were we thinking anyway??!?”

So Mighty World is excellent for quiet fun playtime for our adorables and a little neurotic behavior by us moms.

Or maybe that’s just me…

I mean look at all this fun…

This camping set comes with all of these wonderful pieces for hours of **quiet** playtime.

This week you can win the whole kit-and-kaboodle just by leaving a comment by Friday, March 19th.

I’ll choose the winner using Random.org on Saturday, March 20th.

You can get an extra entry by emailing 5 of your friends about The Good Stuff Guide (or tweeting or leaving something about TGSG as your status update on Facebook).  As always, I trust ya!

Good luck!

If you are not the lucky winner, you can always find this at Amazon: Mighty World Complete Base Camp

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If you aren’t already a Facebook Fan of The Good Stuff Guide, join us as we begin doing frequent and random giveaways there!  Giveaways will come up often, so join up and win!

We had the best time!

We drove through these gates of the old walled city, and we never left.  There was so much to do, see, and eat!

Pulling into our “castle” (or so we told the adorables), the Chateau Frontenac.  It was very fortress-like.

Here’s the hotel from well below.  It’s located at the top of the hill, and feels like the center of the old city.

Here’s the fam…  Thanks to the nice lady we accosted.

Directly in front of the hotel was this fabulous toboggan run (it’s the uphill lighted feature you see behind my boys).

The next day I did it with my eldest.

It was wicked fast and super fun.  I’m screaming like a little girl here.

And provided an excellent view.

We spent much time atop canons, located everywhere to protect the riverfront in the old days.

I’m really more showing you this photo for the gorgeous St. Lawrence River views.

We had the best time: the people were super friendly, and the beautiful, warmish weather provided great outdoor time.

LOVED it!

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If you aren’t already a Facebook Fan of The Good Stuff Guide, join us as we begin doing frequent and random giveaways there!  First giveaway will come up quickly, so join up and win!

Today we’re headed to a beach community in Wilmington, North Carolina to see an incredible home.

Told you! This home was built to incorporate outdoor living elements into the house plan.  Every living area inside has an adjoining special landscape feature outside….fountains, outdoor kitchen, pool, and porches.

Love the brick walk and the potted plants lining the steps.  Feeling welcomed!

Heaven.  Here’s the scene I have in my head: the adorables can swim comfortably (!) and I’m lounging with my stack of magazines and catalogs.

The gardener is me loves the symmetry created here.  Gorgeous!

Hello kitchen.  Love the casualness, yet heavy-duty functionality of the room.

This is an African wood bar top.  Beautiful, isn’t it?  That’s a separate full-service butler’s pantry you see back there.

Each bathroom was custom designed – here in the guest bath, a mosaic glass countertop carries the beach tone of the home.

This mother of pearl vessel sink in the powder room is a stunner!

Many thanks to the following team for this gorgeous home tour:

Interior Design:  Vicky Serany, Southern Studio
Builder:  Whitney Blair
Photography:  Frank Hart

A happy weekend to each of you!

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If you aren’t already a Facebook Fan of The Good Stuff Guide, join us as we begin doing frequent and random giveaways there!  First giveaway will come up quickly, so join up and win!

The Running Man and I took our adorables to a swanky dinner and proceeded to hold our breaths during the entire the dinner. Luckily on this occasion, they stunned us with their excellent behavior.

We’ve had another experience where our youngest adorable spilled my Diet Coke all over me in a very crowded restaurant, and proceeded to wail at the top of his lungs, “Doooonnnn’tttt huuurrrrrttttt mmmmeeee, Mommmmyyyy.”  We whisked him out of there before management could call Child Services and have us incarcerated.  Fun times.

Did you quake with fear when you read the title?  Or, are you at ease when you venture out to eat?

Restaurants can be tricky with young adorables, but if you’re prepared and your adorables know what you expect from them, eating out can be a pleasure.

I asked some brilliant moms for their advice and they had some great ideas…

Bring a Go-Bag:

Leigh Shulman plans for her 5-year-old daughter, “I always carry paper and colored markers, little dolls and other toys in my bag. But we’ve also learned to make do with the things we find if I forget. We use sugar packets for games. We’ll bring leaves, sticks or other things Lila has collected along the way. Sometimes, she brings her Leapster.”

Ameena Din always brings, “A book for her to read; A toy – usually a magnetic paper doll set that I don’t let her play with unless we are at a restaurant; A treat – if she is good through dinner than she gets to have the treat or a restaurant dessert.”

For our family, it’s all about stickers.  I buy big books of stickers from Costco and tear out pages (they’re really heavy to carry around the full book) for my adorable’s go-bags.  A bunch of stickers, a simple piece of paper, and crayons can last a long time for us.  Well, until the Diet Coke gets spilled.

Games:

Marcia Noyes says, “Take 4 knives and cross them over into a tic-tac-toe pattern.  When use pink and white sugars to play tic-tac-toe.  A winner every time!”

Barbilee Hemmings offers a mother lode of game ideas:

1. WHERE’S MY FOOD? (With poker chips). They get 1 chip for every 5 minutes we wait. I set a timer (the timer and the poker chips are available at dollar stores) and each time it rings they give me a chip and we change activities.

2. 20 Questions. Quick rules: adorables can only ask yes or no questions to guess type of animal, place, person you know, etc.

3. Play the color game, letter game or number game. Cut up pieces of colored paper, make small pieces of the numbers 0-9 and the letters A-Z. You can put them in different bags or all in the same one. Everyone picks one. When they find it they put their piece of paper in their own bag and pick another one. When they are all gone, you all blow kisses to the winner the person who has the most pieces of paper. **For younger kids, you can adapt: She picks a color and she finds 2 people/things wearing that color. For number, you help her count, for letter have her find the letter in one of her books.

4. Treasure Bottle – Great for all ages – I use a plastic food container with a really tight lid for this one (lg clear soda bottles work well). Fill it no more than 2/3 full with uncooked rice or birdseed. Then put in about 20-25 small objects (safety pin, plastic bugs, button, M&M, nut, bolt, paper clip, penny, bead, piece of macaroni, tiny lego, and other misc. toy pieces or stuff that is probably rolling around in your kitchen junk drawer.) Keep a list of the items and write down the number of items on the outside of the bottle. Have them “find the __________” while they are waiting.

5. I Spy – an oldie but a goodie.

6. The rhyming game. Find a one or two syllable object and ask your kids to think of words that rhyme with it

7. Storybook–Begin with “Once Upon a Time…” and have everyone take turns adding something to the story. The characters and plot can go in very interesting directions. This game really lets your child’s creative juices flow!

Restaurant and Eating Ideas:

Kim Frye offers, “When my boys were younger (they are now 9 and 12), my motto was always ‘in and out in an hour.’ I kept a list of local restaurants that I knew even with the wait and the service that we could be in and out of there in 1 hour which was the length of time I could maintain the boys.”

Marcia Noyes, whose children are now grown, adds: “When we went to a restaurant, we’d always scout out the round table at the back of the restaurant. When the kids finished, which always seemed to be long before we did, we’d let them play behind the table in front of the walls. They would play with toys we brought on the floor, and not bother anyone.”

Dina Rose, PhD, and food sociologist offers the following insights (She also writes It’s Not About Nutrition.com):

1) Expose your children to eating out when they’re young and still willing to try new foods. Go for the broadest range of foods you can imagine. No cuisine is off limits. Even the hottest Indian food can be toned down with a bowl of yogurt. This will prime them for outings as they get older (and pickier).

2) Don’t introduce your children to the children’s menu until they ask for it. Not only does the children’s menu typically offer the unhealthiest food on the menu, it defeats the purpose of eating out. Chicken nuggets, french fries, spaghetti and hamburgers are the kinds of foods your children already eat. When your kids are old enough to know about their menu, only let them eat off of it occasionally. When they ask why, tell them there’s better food to be had.

3) Instead of ordering a separate meal for your children, build a children’s meal from your own plate. This will expose your kids to the widest range of foods, and if all else fails, there’s always the garnish. Tomatoes anyone?

4) When your children are old enough to have separate meals, encourage them to order something new while you and your spouse order the safe choices. Then trade if your kids don’t like their meals.

5) Make sure there are vegetables on the table. Most restaurants hide the veggies in the side dish section of the menu which is a shame because veggies made restaurant-style (lots of butter, salt and other flavorings), are particularly palatable to kids and are a great way to reinforce how yummy vegetables are. Plus, keeping vegetables on the table, even when you’re out, will make it easier to get your kids to eat them at home.

Dina also offers this mantra, “Remember, the key to eating right – and to eating out – is exposure, exposure, exposure. The more your kids do it, see it, and eat it, the easier things will be.”

Travel Kiddy(especially this miniKiddy size) is perfect for ready-to-go!  See the full line at TravelKiddy.com.

What works for you?  What do you carry in your Go-Bag?

Charleston has maintained its old-world charm: antebellum homes, historic churches, and lush parks filled with Live Oaks. It’s a bustling city with a laid-back attitude, where locals are friendly and more than willing to stop and chat.

There is so much to do, from sightseeing to shopping, that it’s impossible to experience everything the “All American City” has to offer. So, whether you’re visiting for business or pleasure, for a weekend or a few days, here’s a quick must-see-and-do list that will make your stay unforgettable.

1. Fort Sumter

No trip to Charleston is complete without a visit to Fort Sumter, where the first shots of the Civil War were fired. Fort Sumter is something the entire family will enjoy, as it promises fun, sightseeing, and history all in one. Kids will love exploring the fort ruins and watching reenactors show what life was like defending the fort. The Fort Sumter National Monument isn’t simply a place to cool down; the museum houses original photos, artifacts, and interactive displays.

Only accessible by boat, ferry tours leave from the Fort’s museum on the Fountain Walk along the Charleston Harbor and from Patriots Point in Mount Pleasant. The ferry ride to and from the Fort provides a unique panoramic view of the Battery, Rainbow Row, the Ravenel Bridge, and the USS Yorktown.

Fort Sumter is open year-round except for New Years, Thanksgiving, and Christmas Days. For seasonal operating hours, visit: http://www.nps.gov/fosu/index.htm.

2. The South Carolina Aquarium

Step out of the humidity and heat, and spend an afternoon learning about South Carolina’s many ecosystems at the South Carolina Aquarium. Housing over 60 exhibits, you’re guaranteed to see everything from river otters to sharks, seahorses to moray eels.

Entering the aquarium lobby, your family will make a beeline for The Living Wall, a 15,000-gallon fish tank. But that’s nothing compared to the 385,000-gallon tank that spans the second and third floors—and houses hammerhead and sand tiger sharks, sea turtles, and a variety of fish. Kids also enjoy the numerous interactive exhibits, which allow visitors to ask questions and learn about unique species of marine life.

Oh, yeah, and did I mention the aquarium now has a penguin exhibit? Who doesn’t love the penguins!

For more information on hours and exhibits, visit http://scaquarium.org.

3. Historic Downtown

Pretty much all of downtown Charleston has a 200-plus-year history, which is why you’ll need to lace up your tennis shoes, grab your camera, and explore the city up close and personal.

Walk the Battery, also known as White Point Gardens. Take in the pink, orange, green, and yellow homes along the famous Rainbow Row. Stroll through the bustling downtown open-air Market, where artists and craftspeople display their work. Walk along King Street’s shopping district, and window shop the boutiques, antique shops, and art galleries.

4. Waterfront Park

Waterfront Park, located in downtown Charleston, is the place to be for good old-fashioned family fun—and a serene, peaceful place to relax your weary feet after a stroll downtown.

Built on the remnants of old wharves, the eight-acre park runs along Charleston Harbor. In addition to fountains, garden rooms, and large lawns, Waterfront Park has a 400-foot-long pier that jets out into the water for a unique view of harbor activity. Tables under the pier’s pavilion provide the perfect spot for a family picnic or to enjoy the sea breeze on one of the many wooden swings.

Perhaps the most famous aspect of Waterfront Park is the giant pineapple-shaped fountain and the spray fountain. During the summer months, you’ll find kids and adults alike splashing around the fountains, trying to stay cool.

5. Magnolia Cemetery

Leave the kids with a babysitter, or bring them along for a self-guided tour of Magnolia Cemetery, located on the banks of the Cooper River. Established in 1850, Magnolia is the hidden jewel of Charleston (at least in this author’s humble opinion).

The oldest public graveyard in the city, it is the resting place of many prominent citizens—from politicians to planters, military leaders to madams. Just as eclectic as its residents are the gravestones and mausoleums scattered throughout the towering Live Oaks. Over 2,000 Civil War veterans are buried here, most notably the seven graves of the lost Confederate crew aboard the Hunley.

Magnolia Cemetery is open from Monday through Friday, 9 am to 4 pm. Admission is free.

6. Charles Towne Landing

Charles Towne Landing is the site where the English first settled in 1670. Now a museum and visitor center, visitors learn from reenactors what life was like for the first settlers, including how they farmed, protected themselves, and ruled. There are numerous educational programs for children and a 22-acre natural habitat zoo the whole family will enjoy.

For more information, visit http://www.charlestowne.org/.

7. Shem Creek

A bridge ride from downtown, Shem Creek is a nice reprieve from the hustle and bustle of historic downtown. Located in the heart of Mount Pleasant, this deep-water creek is home to Charleston’s shrimp boat fleet. It also happens to have the best sunset view in town.

During the day, families can rent colorful kayaks and paddle among the dolphins. The creek also houses a variety of restaurants with outdoor and rooftop seating, all of which serve local seafood. Some restaurants are more kid friendly than others, but during the summer months, nightlife on the creek can get a bit wild for a family vacation.

8. USS Yorktown

The tenth aircraft carrier to serve in the U.S. Navy, the famous ship was launched in 1943 by First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt. After dodging Japan’s Kamikaze missions and earning eleven battle stars for its service in World War II and five battle stars for service off Vietnam, the Yorktown was decommissioned in 1970.

Today, the 900-foot ship rests at Patriots Point Naval and Maritime Museum in Charleston Harbor. A family favorite, children and adults alike will enjoy learning about the helicopters and planes displayed on the flight deck and in the hangar.

For more information, visit http://www.patriotspoint.org/.

9. The Charleston Museum

Founded in 1773, The Charleston Museum is America’s oldest museum. Anything you want to know about the natural and social history of the Lowcountry, you’ll find your answer here. A full-size replica of the CSS H.L. Hunley, the first submarine in history to sink an enemy ship, is on display outside the building.

The current location is not the original; a fire in the late 20^th century destroyed the old building, save the column ruins. The columns still stand at the old site in Cannot Park.

For more information, visit http://www.charlestonmuseum.org.

10. Brunch

I know what you’re thinking: brunch is not a sightseeing activity. But once you’ve run all around Charleston for a few days, I can promise you, you’ll have worked up quite an appetite.

Buttered stone-ground grits, salty country ham, scrambled eggs, and a fluffy biscuit topped with thick gravy—there’s nothing better than a hearty Southern breakfast. Top that off with a heap of Southern hospitality, a warm, sunny day, and a glass of sweet tea, and life doesn’t get any better.

Charleston does not lack in brunching spots. Whether brunching in the heart of the historic district, along the beach, or anywhere in between, stop a local and ask what his or her favorite breakfast establishment is.

For more information on visiting Charleston, please go to http://www.charlestoncvb.com/. A special thanks to them for the use of their photos.

And a very special thanks to Michelle Salater for her tour ideas: Michelle is an award-winning writer and president of Sūmèr, a company that specializes in web copy writing, SEO copywriting, and the promotion and marketing of websites after they launch. She is a former freelance travel writer and is the author of Charleston: A Photographic Portrait.

Michelle resides in Charleston, South Carolina, with Mama Mia, a gorgeous dog she rescued from St. John, US Virgin Islands. For more information, visit: www.writtenbysumer.com/blog

The Running Man and I sat down to make sure we had the same procedures come bedtime.  Bath and teeth, followed by books and then lights out.  We came up with some strategies that we would both use if Plan A didn’t produce sleep.  The logic was, if our approach was consistent, our adorable would eventually quit trying all the funny business and just go to sleep.

Around the same time,  I went to a discipline workshop at our preschool looking for some ideas.  The speaker provided some sound advice on many different issues that parents were having but what really stuck with me was the mantra,

“Reward the behavior you would like repeated.”

This, I later realized, is perhaps the over-arching answer to any problem you are having with your adorables (or anyone, as I think of it).

So I immediately put these reward charts into play…

Really anything that you’d like your adorables to practice warrants the reward chart.  In our home, adorable #1 gets stickers for clean-up and a good bedtime routine.  Adorable #2, who is only 2 1/2 and doesn’t fully understand (or frankly care about) the sticker concept, receives them for clean-up.  This type of reward cards are available in any teacher store or office supply store that has a teacher aisle.

When the chart is full, the adorables receive a special treat, sometimes a very small toy, or a special outing.  Because he has the opportunity to receive 2 stickers/day, he’s on track to finish his card about every 12-13 days, so plan the reward accordingly.

Whatever the reward, the collecting of stickers is WORKING!  We haven’t had a multi-hour bedtime marathon in a long time, and clean-up is often initiated by them to get their stickers.

Since his card was full, we made a very special outing to a huge indoor play area nearby:

Kid heaven!

And needless to say, bedtime was a breeze after this place…

“Reward the behavior you would like repeated.”

What type of reward systems do you have in place in your home?  What’s worked for you?