It’s A Wonderful Life

June 27, 2012

Written by Marykate OMalley, mother of three wonderful children, Riverside, CT

I am moving. And I am moving from a town where I raised my babies. I moved into my house while 7 months pregnant, with my oldest daughter only a couple months from her arrival. And with my nesting instincts in full gear I was well prepared to get settled, and quickly. Her brother arrived the following year, and her younger sister followed. Behind every door of my house is a baby being rocked to sleep and when I open the kitchen door I see my children racing to the swing set in the backyard. Like ghosts there are memories on every park bench, every playground swing, every sticky ice cream parlor counter. We are moving from friends that have become like family to us. And although this bittersweet nature is a gift; I am heartbroken.

Ahoy there me hearties! With dear friends, Mystic, CT, spring 2012

I can roll with the changes life sends my way. I am the eternal optimist and insist upon seeing every silver lining. But these type of changes are hard. The roots go deep, the relationships lovingly tended and invested in, and so the uprooting process is strenuous. However, because the roots go deep, I can bend and sway.

I am working hard at helping my children say good bye to their friends here, many of whom they have known since they were babies. I am focused on fostering a spirit of closure for them (because this is a big change) and also striking that balance of – the relationships will be different, however not over. We already have our calendar chock full of events we are returning to Riverside for, and have lots of visitors teed up, for which I am most grateful. And in the age of Skype, facetime and email, my children will be able to continue relationships in ways we never could have as children.

My son (left) and his best buddies, how cute are these boys…

Kids give the best hugs. My daughter (right) and one of her besties.

My daughter (center) and her preschool crew (friends for more than half her life!)

I had the respective boys and girls in my children’s classes over for an end of the year “super playdate”. There have been Riverside t-shirts made, others signed, sleepovers with friends, collections of photographs of our favorite places and videos to accompany them. We have a stack of books from the library on moving that we are making our way through. And we are also enjoying one of our favorite times of year in coastal Connecticut with it’s tranquil sailboat dotted beaches and the natural beauty of the Long Island Sound.

“We’ll miss you” t-shirt – my cuties at a school science presentation

My daughter’s good bye t-shirt 

How I will miss this… sunset, Tod’s Point, Old Greenwich, CT

One of my favorite movies of all time is “It’s A Wonderful Life”. And my favorite scene is the final one where Jimmy Stewart, aka George Bailey, is surrounded by his family and friends with such kindness and support. That is how I feel. These amazing women of Greenwich, CT, and my college crew, many of whom live close by, have planned dinners and parties, lunches and BBQs on my behalf. I can scarcely think how I can ever thank them enough for all they have done for me.  There is a sisterhood out there, and how lucky are we as women to be able to have and cultivate these very rich relationships. Friends truly are one of the gems of this life.

 

So few photos of my friends – had to go back an entire year for this one. Birthday dinner last year (me tiara!) I am going to miss these girls, and so many others…

And perspective is so important. So despite my sadness, I have not lost mine. I consider myself incredibly blessed. Although I will miss the impromptu and casual nature my friendships – last minute walks at the beach, the ease of coffees or lunches, I know these dear friends are not going anywhere. Our plans will have to be more carefully orchestrated however, friendship will prevail as it always does.

And I am excited about what the future holds. I grew up on the Main Line area of Philadelphia, and I am returning there. I am moving from people I love, and moving to people I love. I am leaving my home and also returning home. I am leaving one beautiful town for another. This is a good sadness to have. I know that. Above all, I am so grateful for the people who surround me. Like a bridge these relationships will carry me back and forth along the familiar trek of I – 95, only now my direction will change. We will head north to visit our friends here instead of south towards the family and friends who await.

Has anyone else had to do this? Any ideas to add about how to help your children with this transition?

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